The Only Beasts of the Southern Wild are the Humans

I'm not a total animal-rights activist. I support zoos licensed by the AZA, and I eat turkey burgers--quite frequently, actually. But I'm also opposed to circuses, wouldn't eat a cow, deer, or pig to save my life, and am firmly opposed to hunting, furs, and irresponsible breeders. Last night I saw Beasts of the Southern Wild after getting it on Netflix to see for myself what it was like and was horribly distressed at what I saw.

I assume you're familiar with the story, since, you know, it was nominated for Best Picture, the little girl (Quvenzhane Wallis) was the youngest person to be nominated for Best Actress, yadda yadda. If not, let me recap: A girl named Hushpuppy (Wallis) lives with her abusive father in the Bathtub, a Louisiana bayou community. A storm comes and all hell breaks loose. People die. Homes are flooded. Meanwhile, Hushpuppy's father is dying and creatures called "aurochs" (which actually existed; however, the movie portrays them as fuzzy, carnivorous boars; in real life, they were gentle cows) are invading.

The aurochs were the only CGI animals, however. In one scene, Hushpuppy's father is showing her how to fish with her hands. He pulls a fish out of the water and shows her how to hit it on the head. In other scenes, giant amounts of fish and lobster are shown writhing with piles of each other around. An owl is shown in a cage. A horse is tied to a tree. Random chickens are squeezed by Hushpuppy and held to her head. Two crabs, already dead, are broken in half and have the juice sucked out of them. Multiple alligators are shown and killed, including one being put into something reminiscent of butterfly shrimp. They have little to no purpose in the story. This was merely to give it a few extra minutes so that it actually looked like a movie instead of a too-long short film.

I'd rather it be a too-long short film.